Subway, Third Place, and focus.

I've discovered I have a problem with self-indulgent spending. I like to reward myself for what I consider to be a job well done or a day well spent by spending money on things like Subway, Third Place, etc. I find that I am dependent on such things for motivation and encouragement, when I need to be dependent on how God views my work as my source of motivation.

I don't think there's anything wrong with rewarding myself from time to time, but I do it far too often, and for far too trivial things. I end up wasting money, on food that isn't healthy anyways, and it doesn't actually encourage me like I think it will. Or I'll watch a tv show, trying to relax, when the entire time I'm just thinking about how bored I am, so I'll try to multi-task with something, and that something will always end up being done less than adequately.

I am really focusing on taking each thought captive and deciding if it is something of God, or something of my selfish, self-indulgent nature.

self-control is the solution to self-indulgence.

I should fast something.

I complain. A lot.

I think I may be the biggest complainer I know.

Recently, I prayed and asked God for a little part-time job so that I could have another way of witnessing and have another small trickle of income (gas is expensive!). I was offered a job, but not the kind I wanted - I pictured a coffee shop job or a job at a cash register (areas I felt quite adequate). What I was offered was a job scrubbing stainless steel for hours upon hours.

I have never really done physical hard work - just mental hard work.

I got home and the first things out of my mouth were words of frustration and complaining (frustration as a result of my small build and pampered physical condition clashing with hard work).

But who do I think I am?

Didn't I pray for a job?

Didn't I get one?

Haven't I been blessed?

Complaining is pointless - It doesn't get me anywhere.

Hard work is hard.

Let's blow up.

I've noticed recently that the youth group I serve in (The Edge), has been doing fairly well on the "things people at high school talk about when awkward silences pop up" list. Every now and again, someone will tell me of conversations that had started about The Edge during classes, and the curiosity it's building.

I want our churches to, for lack of more exciting and perfectly culture-rebellious words, "blow up" in our schools.

I envision a youth group that raises leaders in their schools. What if - schools had to question "why" there were a lack of detentions being handed out because kids were just being responsible? What if schools had to question why there was a lack of attendance in activities that required Wednesday night practices because kids were packing the youth groups? What if time with God became more important than musical practice?

Now I understand there is a time to fellowship with your classmates, but we have 7 1/2 hours each day to fellowship. What if youth group became as important as the super bowl - we cancelled societal activities because kids were blowing up the churches?

What if See You At the Pole was one giant meeting of the whole school?

All it takes is a select group of people the deeply care for their students, and I'm not talking just care - painfully care.

Care so much that, and I'm not saying it is, but IF youth group is the way to bring their friends to God, they do WHATEVER THEY NEED TO DO TO GET THEIR FRIENDS INTO THAT BUILDING.

what if kids preached in school on lunch tables? (i may be getting too rebellious...)

however,

let's blow up.